E-Harmony’s evaluation « Craig’s Bookmarks

E-Harmony’s evaluation

(Click on the pics above and links below). The “trikke” above is hard to learn… like skiing was, but that’s what makes it fun. And it’s great exercise. I have a website to teach other’s at http://drop.io/trikken

E-harmony is a useful site. It’s a view of yourself… a bit better than a horoscope:

You are best described as:

TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Words that describe you:

Fair
Considered
Collaborative

Responsive
Sensible
Diplomatic

Contemplative
Indulgent
Rational

A General Description of How You Interact with Others

You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it’s best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don’t take good care of yourself, you’ll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you’ll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that’s fair for the other person and also fair to you. It’s frequently a win/win situation.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness.For them, when someone’s life is on fire, what is needed is not collaboration but rescue. And the person who experiences their life on fire may resent the time you take to contemplate. “I need you, and I need you NOW! This isn’t about fairness, it’s about the fire.” “All deliberate speed” may seem too deliberate and not fast enough, either to the more compassionate or to people in genuine trouble.At the other end of the spectrum of compassion, those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself.Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they’ve run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble.Even the tough-hearted, those who believe people should solve their own problems, might come to admire your tenderness which they don’t find in themselves. So the people you help will be grateful, and the people who see your balance between self and others will admire you. Certainly, balanced is not bad at all as a way to be known among your friends.

On the Openness Dimension you are:

SOMETIMES CURIOUS, SOMETIMES CONTENT

Words that describe you:

Accepting
Flexible
Educated

Self-aware
Middle-of-the-road
Proper

Distinctive
Indecisive
Adaptable

A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences

Like someone who can sleep comfortably on either side of the bed, you are equally at home with ideas and beliefs that you have held for a long time and with new ways of thinking and believing that grow out of your intellectual curiosity.Your sense of who you are and what your place is in the world around you rests on values and principles that are the solid ground you walk upon. You’ve tested them, they work for you, and much of the time you are content to trust them, that is, until some provocative new idea slips in from a conversation, book or some flight of your active imagination. “Hmmmm. What’s this. Never thought of it before.” And off you go, exploring.Since you love to learn, you’ve always been teachable; you absorb new information, which means you are well-educated in things that matter to you. Sometimes your intellectual exploring will lead you back to where you started; the “next new thing” proves too shallow or impractical to you. But once in a while a new idea or belief will dislodge you from the ground you’ve stood upon; it is so compelling and persuasive that you step away from the tried-and-true and embrace this notion that is brand new to you.Because you hold both solid beliefs and are open to new ideas, you are accepting of other people and other ways of thinking and believing. You are flexible enough to listen to something new and different, or something outside of your comfort zone; if it works for you, you’ll take it in, and if not, you’ll let it go. In this sense, you know who you are: you are neither closed-minded nor wildly open-minded, but walk somewhere near the middle of the intellectual road.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking

Not everyone will be thrilled by your flexible, middle-of-the-road ways of thinking and believing. A few people are so taken with flights of imagination into whatever is new that they might find your commitment to long-standing values and beliefs too confining, if not too boring. Oh well; so be it. They’ll just have to be in free-flight without you.Others are content with the ideas that have served them and their culture well; they’re not excited by the prospect of moving on. And some people are afraid of new ways of thinking because they are somewhat fragile; they have trouble maintaining their current worlds and don’t want someone like you, for instance pushing out the edges of their intellectual cosmos. So don’t be surprised if your solid values sometimes make people distrust you as an explorer, or if your flexible and open mind sometimes gets you criticized by people who walk away from the very same explorations that you find refreshing.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Many others will find you trustworthy and therefore an attractive companion on the intellectual journey. They will appreciate the combination in you of open-mindedness and a commitment to the tried-and-true. In an intellectual climate sometimes dominated by the extremes of either wild innovation or dug-in traditionalism, your moderate views and your proper acceptance of a wide range of possibilities will be a distinctive and refreshing quality. Because you join your curiosity to strong foundational ideas and beliefs and practical solutions to problems, people will trust your occasional explorations into new territories to be reliable, and not “something new for newness sake”.You are accepting of others, flexible in your own intellectual commitments, well-informed in areas that matter to you, and comfortably aware of who you are and where you stand. This combination will make you a desirable companion on the intellectual journey for many, many people.

On Emotional Stability you are:

SOMETIMES STEADY, SOMETIMES RESPONSIVE

Words that describe you:

Adaptable
Engaged
Able to Cope

Passionate
Perceptive
Flexible

Receptive
Aware
Avid

A General Description of Your Reactivity

In some ways, you’ve got the best of emotional worlds. When emotions rise up from inside you or are brought forth from a conversation by a friend, you know how to engage them. You deal with sadness, fear, joy, anger – whatever comes up – in ways that are perceptive and flexible. You can adapt to whatever level of emotion is appropriate to the moment. At other times, you are able to cope with your emotions in a more reserved manner. Because you are aware of what does and does not make emotional sense in a particular situation, you will decide when it is an appropriate time to express your emotions and when it would be best to keep them to yourself.All of this gives you a rich emotional life. You are free to express your passions about certain subjects with appropriate people. But you are also emotionally adaptable; if the conversation needs to be more cerebral, you’ll keep it “in your head” and talk calmly through whatever issue is on the table. This emotional awareness serves you well. You seldom get in over your head, either by opening up to the wrong person or by triggering in someone else’s emotions they may not be able to deal with.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don’t match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you. Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to “live in your head” while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too “touchy feely” for their approach.And of course it is always possible that because you do balance your emotional approach to life you may misread others – we all do at times. So there have undoubtedly been those times when you have misread cues and stayed in your head with someone who hoped for a more open emotional approach or you may have opened up emotionally with someone who keeps their emotions bottled up. But these things happen and since you do have a good balance of being in touch with your emotions and not being overly impacted by emotional swings, you undoubtedly are able to adapt.Another potential problem is that as people get to know you well, they will discover that you have a great balance between emotional expression and emotional control. If they don’t have this balance they may wind up envying you. They can’t express feelings as well as you, or they are too often out of emotional control and resent you for your ability to cope so well with the very emotions that may trip them up.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Many people will be grateful to find a friend like you who can stay in control when emotions verge on chaos, but who can also go into the tangle of emotions when it is safe and appropriate to do so. Because of your ability to engage them at whatever level they are comfortable, to adapt to whatever changes in emotion emerge in the conversation, and to cope so well with all of it – well, they’ll be very glad they found a person like you. You may, in fact, wind up as something of an emotional mentor. Your awareness of the emotional temperature of a situation, your ability to adapt to either heat or cold, and your ability to cope with whatever winds up happening in the conversation could be models for them to follow as they come to terms with their own emotional worlds.

Your approach toward your obligations is:

FOCUSED AND FLEXIBLE

Words that describe you:

Casual
Informal
Compliant

Reliable
Organized
Solid

Dependable
Uncommitted
Genuine

A General Description of How You Interact with Others

When you take on a task at work or at home, you are reliable; you get the job done. In an organized way, you define the goal, lay out a plan, figure how long the task will take, and get to work “solid and dependable you”.But and this is important you’re not a slave to the plan. You’re committed to it, but not chained to it; the connection is more casual and informal. You know that sometimes “the best laid plans” fall off the tracks; when this happens, you clean up the train wreck and start over, undeterred.Though not happening often, when plans change, you’re okay with it. In fact, sometimes you change the plan. It’s too nice of a Saturday to finish organizing the garage. Let’s go for a bike ride instead. True, the next rainy Saturday will likely find you back in the garage, but for now the work can wait.What an interesting combination of qualities in you’re organized, but casual; solid, but compliant; and dependable, but informal. At home and at work, people know they can rely on you. You take great satisfaction in knowing that people think of you as disciplined and responsible, but you also know that you have something of a free spirit in you, and when this spirit moves you, off you go, following the impulse of the moment. You are rightly proud of your work ethic, but you also enjoy your willingness to lay the tools down, crank up the music and play like a child.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

Some people live like Marines: duty-bound, disciplined and driven. To these people you might seem uncommitted; where they would never leave work for play or change plans in the middle of their life’s forced march, you let the circumstance sway you and move in a different direction, and they don’t understand.Others live like kites on a string, attached by thin threads to the solid ground of responsibility and are blown about by every gust of impulse or imagination. To these people you might seem too cowardly, like you’ll flirt with your impulses but never give in fully, play on a Saturday but never blow of the entire work-week to “follow your bliss”.While these Marines and kite-flyers might look down on you for your combination of focus and flexibility, others might be envious. They can’t free themselves from a sense that they’re not doing enough, or from the equally frustrating feeling that they’re not free enough.And here you are with your accomplishments and your pleasures, getting the job done but also getting your hair blown back as you run with the wind. As far as these people are concerned, you’re lucky you’ve got the best of both of the worlds in which they feel they fail.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

What a great life you have, and a great attitude to boot. You know when to buckle down and push ahead to get the job done, and you do it well. You know when to lay the tools of your trade aside, grab your kite and head for the meadow where you can run with the wind. Many people will see and admire in you this lovely combination of a person who can focus, but who is flexible enough to know when to let the spirit move you in some new and livelier direction.It’s a life they aspire to, and they delight in seeing it played out in your life. They may ask your advice and turn you into a mentor of the full and balanced experience. They will want to know how you do it, what the costs are, and if you get frightened that you’re not working hard enough or playing often enough. They may make you think about your own life more than you have, so you can share it with those who want to emulate this balance between flexibility and focus. They may be correct lucky you!

When it comes to Extraversion you are:

RESERVED

Words that describe you:

Thoughtful
Modest
Reflective

Private
Introverted
Careful

Restrained
Meditative

A General Description of How You Interact with Others

You are generally a modest and private person. You are thoughtful and careful before making decisions and offering opinions. You most likely have a number of good friends and you greatly enjoy spending time with them. But even with your friends you tend not to be terribly outgoing; you open up, but slowly, and share yourself, but in a careful way. For you quality is much more important than quantity. When it comes to your social life you are more comfortable with deeper, well nurtured friendships than with having a social calendar that rivals that of a socialite.Whether at work or in social situations, you neither need nor particularly like the spotlight. In fact, it is often the case that your friends and colleagues think you deserve more credit than you take and more attention than you get. But that isn’t really your style. Again, you don’t crave flash and attention, it’s quality and depth you treasure.This isn’t to say that you don’t want to be around people or that you aren’t good in relationships and in social situations. In fact, you need the companionship of people, you just prefer quiet conversations with a friend or a small group to finding a new party to go to every week. Your social encounters balance out the side of you that likes your own company and having enough time to think and reflect. But you do find that life has a better rhythm for you when there is enough quiet time to deliberate on your own so that you are refreshed for your next encounter with friends and colleagues.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

You may occasionally run into problems with other people. Particularly those who may want more from you than you want to contribute, ones who may feel that by holding back you’re not holding up your end of the social bargain. Others may guess, correctly, that there is a wealth in you that they would like to tap into, but may assume that you are unwilling to share. Their positive expectations will be confirmed on those occasions when you do open up. But your social style is one you have developed carefully and positively.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

While some people can be frustrated by your thoughtful manner, others will appreciate you, and it won’t take them long for them to realize that you are one of those who values depth and substance over flash and casualness. Even in private conversations there are times when you are more willing to listen than to open up. They will appreciate having more time to share their own thoughts and more of the spotlight than you care for. It is also likely that when you do choose to contribute they will listen because they’ve learned that you speak from a deep well of contemplation and reflection. It may take you some time, but if you’re thoughtful about it, you will find a few friends who understand your reserved nature and will enjoy certain social situations in which you are fairly comfortable and in which people are equally as comfortable with you.

Here are the likes and dislikes.

I have picked these, from E-Harmonies list, (and in parenthesis, I altered some).

First the “likes”:


	I must have a partner who is bright and can share (an) understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
	I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
	I must have someone who is willing to share, (mutual, or different), interests and passions.
	(It would be nice) to have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and artistic things in life either as a spectator or participant.
	I must have a partner who is able to forget, (a bit), about money and focus on the important parts of life.
	I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
	I must have someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
	I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
	I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.
	I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.

Now the “dislikes”.
	I can’t stand someone who easily loses perspective and constantly worries.
	I can’t stand someone who can’t manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.
	I can’t stand someone who (continually) lies to anyone-especially to me.
	I can’t stand someone who bases their happiness on me.
	I can’t stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.
	I can’t stand someone who focuses on imperfection.
	I can’t stand someone who is so (painfully) shy that they cannot open up and share with me.
	I can’t stand someone who is not clean.
	I can’t stand someone who has a chip on their shoulder.
	I can’t stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.

I recommend StumbleUpon.com . “Channel surf the Internet with the StumbleUpon toolbar to find great websites, videos, photos and more based on your interests. StumbleUpon learns what you like and makes better recommendations”. “…meet people that have similar interests, and check out what other people are discovering.”I use this site, when I’m not sure what to do… and I have a few minutes. Hitting the “Stumble!” button a few times… I’ll find a really interesting and useful site.

For example, I found great sites, for free music, built around the user’s tastes, like Finetune.com and Last.FM.com. The funny thing is, they make it a real adventure, to navagate around, as you construct playlists, (a hint: click ‘view profile’ when lost). My music profile is “goodself2″ to see/use my playlists, at finetune.com.

I don’t spend allot of time listening to music. I do it once in a while. Sometimes it’s playing in the background. But when I do listen, I’d like it, to be picked by me. The music in itunes, and finetune, are picked by me… or music websites can automatically play very similar artists… (as the case in finetune, and in lastFm).